Celebrity

Written and Directed by Woody Allen
Starring Kenneth Branagh, Leonardo DiCaprio and Judy Davis
Showing at the Academy

How does one ask this question without sounding like the instigator of a cafe conversation: What is happening to Woody Allen? Recently there has been a noticable drop in the intensity and thoroughness of Allen's work, a lull that could almost be perceived as an artistic retreat. There have been many excellent films made by Allen in the last few years (Everyone Says I Love You, Deconstructing Harry) but nothing to match the grace and beauty of Manhattan, the comic heights of Love and Death or the dramatic intensity of Husbands and Wives. Worst of all was his vocal performance in the computer generated Antz, a film that proved Allen kvetching about inadequacy only works when he directs the film as well. Now we have Celebrity, where Allen lets himself be played by that most loathsome of men, Kenneth Branagh, one of the great insects of out time.

Hurummph...an interesting paragraph...things to be developed upon, bringing it all back home and displaying a solid grasp of reviewing technique. But we are all very busy. So, from Me to You, tonight's Top 10 things I disliked about Celebrity:

10. Charlize Theron is annoying and bratty. Maybe I'm outta touch.
9. Winona Ryder. Playing herself.
8. Ditto for Melanie Griffith, thinking ironic gesturing excuses the fact that she is a talentless super-ego (see lolita) who was once a great actress (Body Double, Something Wild).
7. Branagh.
6. New Yorker's who don't realise they are selfish and solipsistic are far worse than ones analysing every goddamn second of their lives.
5. Oh look, a film within a film. Yawn.
4. For making Judy Davis spin her wheels once again. She is too talented for a reprisal of Husbands and Wives.
3. For easy-laugh smut. This is like a bad episode of Friends where they realise it's the only way to raise a smile.
2. DiCaprio in general. Ultimate definition of insulting: Telling a mature, beautiful woman she is trapped and taking it upon yourself to save even though your face betrays no hint of experience or loss. Still very very upset about that.
1. Have I mentioned Kenneth Branagh?

Three things I liked a lot:
3. Seeing Woody Allen?s name in the credits and having a few seconds of happy memories.
2. Joe Mantegna not playing a gangster.
1. Nailing people who use the word solipsistic too much. Cinema as self-help. Good Night.

adam rivett
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