starring cathy moriarty, diane balaban, tara spencer narin, andrew mccarthy
Int. Movie Producer's Office. Daytime. Barton Fink sits bemused.
"Alright Fink. We want a good B picture outta you...nothing too fruity, no suffering of the soul crap. Just a good coming-of-age flick which we can sell to the festivals, no questions asked, no demands met. Throw in a bit of solemnity for the critics, a bit of the usual wackiness for the kids. Alright Fink, go to work"
Two Weeks Later
Int. Movie Producer's Office. Daytime. Barton Fink sits bemused.
"Who in the hell do you think you are Fink? I ask for a nice no-frills effort in the Hughes vein and you drop this giant turd in my coffee. What were you thinking? Where's the jokes? Where's the cute girls? All you got is a bunch of hydrocephalics dicking 'round the countryside followed by their retard parents. Who gives a fuck Fink? You ain't no writer. Yer a goddamn write-off. Now get outta my office. There's a war on"
Two Weeks Later
Int. Movie Producer's Office. Daytime. Barton Fink sits bemused.
"Alright Fink, maybe I was a little rough onya. Yer script ain't all that shitty. Matter a fact, it ain't half bad. Would you agree Lou? Don't answer that Lou. Hell, my word is final, and if I say it swings, it fucking swings. So we'll do it. Christ, it isn't like we're drowning in good scripts here at Capitol. Forgive me Fink. Can you forgive. Fuck it if ya don't wanna. We're still gonna make this picture. It's got that Barton Fink feeling. The poetry of the hills. All that. The public will like this picture or they can go hang. And all those fucking dimestore critics can take a flying fuck if they think the picture stinks."
P.S. I've been told by a good friend in the past week that amidst all my would-be cleverness I sometimes forget to tell people how I feel about a film. I know some people are looking for an idea as to whether this or that film is worth the effort or the money. To be clear: this one ain't worth a damn kiddies. I hope that clears everything up.
Adam Rivett
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